Stuck Between Worlds

 

 

Man what a year. First WW3 memes with Australia on fire, then a pandemic which quite literally changed life as we know it. Add to that a summer of racial tensions and then a crazy election, life in America has been a mixture of both really exciting, really stressful, and really boring.

But tonight, I'm here to talk about my experience with being an American, being Asian, being a Christian, and often just feeling like I don't truly 'fit in'.

To start off, let's go all the way back before I was born, back to the 70s. During that decade, my parents immigrated over to the US. Being fairly young (before their teen years), most of their main education was in the US as opposed to other's who came to the US for college or post-grad opportunities. Fast forward to March 19th, 1999, Dennis and Angela had a son, and the world would never be the same. 

 

I'm technically first generation, but part of me feels second generation. I have a lot of first-gen Asian American friends who are like me, but also WAY more Asian than me (Studio Ghibli, K-dramas, actually speaking the language, etc.). Yet, I don't feel truly 'white-American' to use that term. I can't really comprehend a lot of America's individualistic culture, I still celebrate Chinese New Year (gotta get that hong bao ya know?), and I'm a firm believer in rice as a universal starch. Many of my friends make fun of how 'white' I am (I mean, look at the photo I picked for this post), but I don't truly feel like I fit in with American culture 100%.

 

Next up in the stuck between worlds: Christian life and the PNW. For almost all of my life I went to a conservative church, which was fairly reformed and Calvinistic. There, I learned a lot which I hold to pretty tightly (I'm currently going to Calvary Corvallis, and there definitely are some differences). During some of that time, I was also going to public high school. If you're not living in the PNW, if there's one thing that we are, it's liberal (as long as you're not in the "State of Jefferson"). Looking back, I didn't have as many non-Christian friends as I'd like to have had, but even still, school had me questioning a lot about faith and my world view. I doubt that this experience is unique to me, but being a people person, I had a hard time (and still do) uniting the worlds of 'good people' with their 'bad actions'.

TL;DR, I've long since felt that I don't totally fit in and I've often been able to see both sides of issues and worlds. With that in mind, now to the fun part where I say all the exciting stuff:

I have mixed thoughts about me as a 'Christian Evangelical American'. In many ways, I fit under the voting demographic. I value the traditional family and think that life, both before birth and after, is valuable because we are all created imago dei. Yet, I detest where the Republican Party is currently at. I don't think America is 'Great'. We have been blessed, but not more than the common grace that God is giving to all. I don't think we're any better than any other country simply because we're not a nation following God. Even in 'one nation under God' I struggle to find the boundaries with true Christianity and cultural Christianity, and am unsure where that line was back in our country's history. I see America now, with both political parties, as the fourth beast in Daniel, trying to accomplish their own goals without submitting to God's authority and destroying lives in the progress. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 2:2 "For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified". Paul was all about the Gospel. Paul was ONLY about the Gospel.

Looking back at my experiences, if there's one continual trend that I'm learning is that the moment I start moving off of focusing on the Gospel, my life becomes a bit wonky. The moment that I start moving off of the Gospel, it's a lot easier for me to detest other people and look down upon them. It's easy for me to be judgemental, but the Gospel shows me that I'm no better than those I'm judging. It's easy for me to mock other Christians when it seems like they're being more focused on the things of this world than furthering the Kingdom of Christ, but the Gospel reminds me that I need a heart change as much as others around me do. Most importantly, the Gospel shows me that I'm nothing without Christ, but Christ in his love for me, died for me while I wanted nothing to do with him, so that I could have the life I was meant to live. The Gospel shows me that I don't have a lot to be proud of, but that God still loves me.

The Bible talks a lot about tribalism, about nations fighting nations, family destroying families, siblings killing siblings. Cain killing Abel started off a pattern that we never really have seem to be able to overcome. However, the Gospel shows us a way out of it. Christ's coming was not just for the Jew but also for the Gentile. Chances are, you're a Gentile. Traditionally, you'd not be part of the promise, but Christ's death and resurrection allowed you and me to be adopted into His family, a family united in bringing glory to God and making His name great.

 

I went on a date with a girl one time where we went super deep in terms of faith and world view. It was great. We were really different on a lot of political views and even faith views, yet in my conversation with her, it was clear that she loved Jesus and was honestly seeking after Him. Coming out of that date, the things she said challenged me to learn more about what I believed, and I've grown more because of that. Isn't that what faith is about? Finding unity in Christ not in where we are currently at in the moment, but knowing that the Holy Spirit is conforming each of us to be more like Christ? In the Bible, God seems a whole less bothered about where a person currently is, and is instead a lot more interested in their trajectory (the derivative of their position function if you will). If someone is saved by God, doesn't that mean that He's shaping their trajectory? In regards to America, I hope that the church can see that we have more in common with Christians across the aisle than we do with non-Christians in our own group. Practically, that means to listen and try and understand before writing people off. I can say with 100% confidence that your world view is incomplete and imperfect.

America is a cool country. The Republicans are getting a lot of things right. So are the Democrats. We're all created imago dei after all. Both parties without God are a terrifying beast that will eat up and destroy people. America isn't a Christian country. Christians should be a whole lot less consumed with yelling at those they don't believe with or likening people to the anti-Christ or the devil. We should be a whole lot more consumed with spreading the incredible hope that we have in Christ, being unified under Christ's saving work on the Christ, showing discernment but also grace. We should be giving thanks. We can totally have issues that we stand up for, things that we want to see happen, but if we let the issues take priority before our faith, then we're missing the point. In John 13, Jesus, in an incredible act of humility, washes his disciples feet and then tells his disciples to do the same for each other (v15). In that group there were fishermen, a tax collector, a Jewish freedom fighter, and students of the Law. In today's terms, that's kinda like putting a BLM protestor, a Proud Boys member, a factory worker, and a seminary student into the same group and telling them to start a unified worldwide movement together where the hallmark would be love. Jesus knew what he was doing. For each and every one of them, they needed to die to themselves, let go of their pride, and follow Christ. Christ is calling us to do the same today.

I don't do a very good job of this, but what if we lived each day thinking about how do we get to the image in Revelation 7:9-10? How are our actions bringing the Gospel to those around us? When we think of other Christians, no matter who they are, do we think of them as being a family member who God loves as much as us? When we think of non-Christians in our lives, are we saddened about their future without Christ and driven to the point where we pray for them and share the Gospel with them?

⁹ After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, ¹⁰ and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” ~ Revelation 7:9-10 (ESV) 

 

Some other thoughts: I'm not saying to not have discernment. We're sheep among wolves. Paul talks a lot about false teachers in the Corinthian letters. So, I think ultimately in all things, have prayer and humility, knowing that God is the one at work, not us.